I've been thinking of its life ever since. How it must have grown up and learned. How it saw the world. It was the centre of its universe. I hope it didn't have any children.
Saturday 14 May 2011
Sunday 8 May 2011
God, religions, life after death, abortion, torture, animals, the future, and why the universe exists
These pages were previously part of AnswersAnswers.com, but I removed the links because they distracted from the economic focus. I think they are among the best things I have ever done, but they are only outlines of ideas, and I have no energy to expand on them.
God:
http://answersanswers.com/pantheism.html
Other stuff:
http://answersanswers.com/tough_questions.html
God:
http://answersanswers.com/pantheism.html
Other stuff:
http://answersanswers.com/tough_questions.html
Saturday 7 May 2011
Google confirms it: I'm not like other people
You probably think I am exaggerating when I say there is nobody like me in the world. So here is a trivial, everyday example. Every day I Google topics that interest me, and come up with zero results. Every day. Here are some examples from today. Today I wanted to think logically, so naturally I began by questioning my premises. The obvious place to start is to question any hidden assumptions in the words used. Is it possible to use words without built-in assumptions? So I Googled:
So nobody has ever asked this question before. It's not just the way I word my questions - when I read in more depth and read lengthy essays I find that people really do not examine these ideas, not in the way that I do. Philosophy in particular has been a great disappointment to me.
So I gave up on esoterica and spoke to my hope-one-day-to-be-girlfriend instead. We spoke about ordinary stuff, what she was doing (going out to a pub with her friend). She was concerned that she and I have little in common - for example, I would not know what to do on a night out in a pub (apart from drink and talk, which can be done at home). So after she signed off I Googled:
O.K., so nobody has asked this question either. I considered working on my game some more, but it's another of those projects that gets blank looks from others - it isn't like any existing game so people don't know how to relate to it. So instead I went back to my previous topic, the question of logic. I decided to investigate assumptions on my own. Basic logic begins with a hypothesis - an assumption. I wondered if there was any related term that was logically less suspect. So I visited synonym.com:
These are just three examples of zero results, I could add to this list every day.
Intellectually I am alone, but it's OK to be alone in one or two areas as long as you connect with people in other areas. What about emotionally? I think I blogged already about the choices people make. (Follow up 1, follow up 2). What about socially? I may have mentioned about finding a site devoted to lonely people and finding I was the odd one out. But I have my family around me, right? Yes, my family who's life revolves around a church I rejected, at the cost of my marriage, and their deepest wish is for me to change.
Maybe I should forget all the serious stuff and just take it easy. Go shopping for a pair of shoes perhaps? I think I mentioned on FaceBook about the problems of finding affordable shows for very large feet, so let's not awaken those painful memories. Or maybe I should lose myself in my hobbies? In every case, without exception, I make web sites on topics that interest me and find that nobody else in the whole world has done anything like it before. It becomes tiring.
I could give more examples from dating ("no matches in your area, defaulting to state wide" then no matches there either), or my career, or my current religious beliefs, or my goals, or any other area you choose to mention.
People sometimes say to me "you are not really alone" or "we all feel that way" as they laugh with their significant other and chat with their friends. They have no idea. They do not even have the vaguest notion of the beginning of an idea of what it is like to be different.
This is my hero, Grigori Perelman. He solves the world's hardest problems, and lives in a run down St Petersburg apartment with his mother. I am sure he would LOVE to have friends, especially a girlfriend, but he's smart enough to realize it cannot be. As for me, I'm not as smart as him so I still hold out hope.
My favorite quote, about why he turned down a million dollar prize for his work: "I know how to control the universe. So tell me, why should I run for a million?”
So I gave up on esoterica and spoke to my hope-one-day-to-be-girlfriend instead. We spoke about ordinary stuff, what she was doing (going out to a pub with her friend). She was concerned that she and I have little in common - for example, I would not know what to do on a night out in a pub (apart from drink and talk, which can be done at home). So after she signed off I Googled:
O.K., so nobody has asked this question either. I considered working on my game some more, but it's another of those projects that gets blank looks from others - it isn't like any existing game so people don't know how to relate to it. So instead I went back to my previous topic, the question of logic. I decided to investigate assumptions on my own. Basic logic begins with a hypothesis - an assumption. I wondered if there was any related term that was logically less suspect. So I visited synonym.com:
Intellectually I am alone, but it's OK to be alone in one or two areas as long as you connect with people in other areas. What about emotionally? I think I blogged already about the choices people make. (Follow up 1, follow up 2). What about socially? I may have mentioned about finding a site devoted to lonely people and finding I was the odd one out. But I have my family around me, right? Yes, my family who's life revolves around a church I rejected, at the cost of my marriage, and their deepest wish is for me to change.
Maybe I should forget all the serious stuff and just take it easy. Go shopping for a pair of shoes perhaps? I think I mentioned on FaceBook about the problems of finding affordable shows for very large feet, so let's not awaken those painful memories. Or maybe I should lose myself in my hobbies? In every case, without exception, I make web sites on topics that interest me and find that nobody else in the whole world has done anything like it before. It becomes tiring.
I could give more examples from dating ("no matches in your area, defaulting to state wide" then no matches there either), or my career, or my current religious beliefs, or my goals, or any other area you choose to mention.
People sometimes say to me "you are not really alone" or "we all feel that way" as they laugh with their significant other and chat with their friends. They have no idea. They do not even have the vaguest notion of the beginning of an idea of what it is like to be different.
My favorite quote, about why he turned down a million dollar prize for his work: "I know how to control the universe. So tell me, why should I run for a million?”
Friday 6 May 2011
Thinking takes ages
I spent the last few months achieving very little outwardly, but working on very complicated ideas - like what should I do with my life at this crossroads? (This is very complicated because there are a lot of unknown variables.) The time spent will be worth it- a single good decision can save years of wasted work - but still, months to make decisions. It's hard work!
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